A Bye and Then a Lull
Posted on May 30 2018
It's been two months since I last updated. I guess I needed some space from my art to deal with the loss of Tamye (see March' post). The last couple of months were pretty tough. I struggled with work, avoiding the torch as much as possible. When I did create, I couldn't stand what I made so none of it saw the light of day.
April was kind of a blur with just a few highlights that stand out like this phenomenal sunset -
And being in the presence of family, including my sweet niece and her dog -
I was excited to see the geese return -
And Chris and I tried dosa for the first time - have you had it? It's like a humongous Indian pancake with a spicy filling like chicken and vegetables in the centre. You just tear away at it with your hands and dip it into the sauces and soup it comes with! It's fun to eat and so delicious.
Mickey also lightened the mood by perching himself in silly poses and places -
And so did these two cuties making bunny faces (Chris & his sister, Pam at Easter) -
And then May arrived, the snow melted and everything instantly greened up and flowered -
Chris' band played 2 gigs which got me out socializing, dancing and having fun -
We had a Mother's Day picnic in the park with my wonderful family -
Just having my Mom back home after being away was so good for my soul. Her unconditional love and sage advice, validating my pain and soothing my weary heart. I don't think I really appreciated the value of empathy until I needed a little (not knowingly) but when she said that she knew why I was in a funk and reiterated what I had been feeling inside it was like, at that very moment, a huge weight was lifted. The power of compassion, what a gift that was to help me move forward.
May brought a ton of tasks in the yard too. I needed that physical, demanding work to help snap me back into reality. I realized, by surprise, that taking care of a garden is a potent remedy for a broken heart. It has no time for your troubles or lethargy, it is impatient to grow and grow it will. And thank God for that magical rebirth and all the beauty and tenacity it yields. How can you be blue when you have a living puzzle in front of you full of problems to solve? Like a giant canvas to work colours and form on to. And all the natural, earthly wonders to delight in when spending time among the plants - the sun and the wind, the smells of fresh air and flowering trees, the bugs and birds and small critters utilizing the space for their own needs. There is just so much joy and to do in the details. It was a quick switch to exchange the revolving rumination of my mind for the immediate demands of my physical world and so I did.
Finally, I am able to step back into my work and enjoy the satisfaction of being productive once more. I never left this winter but I've been on one hell of a journey and I'm grateful that the demons of loss and sorrow have been pushed into the background once more.